


War of The Heart and Mind

by sithsandstardust



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game), Star Wars the Old Republic - Fandom
Genre: AU, Alternate Ending, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Gen, SWTOR, Sith Warrior Storyline, Sith Warrior Storyline Spoilers, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28109148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sithsandstardust/pseuds/sithsandstardust
Summary: ~MAJOR SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 3 OF THE SITH WARRIOR STORYLINE, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT GOTTEN TO CHAPTER 3 (Or if you managed to not get spoiled by gen chat)~-What if the attack was successful...?-That's all you get, read the story to know what this is about if you've beat Sith Warrior, I'm doing my best not to spoil ;)
Kudos: 8





	War of The Heart and Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Ok ok, this is the last spoiler warning because this story starts with spoilers. I apologize in advance, I wrote this AU at like 10:00 o'clock last night. I also haven't posted fanfic since like. Uhhh 2018? So this is big for me, I need to stop being scared and share out my work like I used too. This made my friend cry if that tells you anything so please enjoy! :D

There was nothing quite like the feeling of guilt that went through Quinn as he lowered the blaster in his shaky hands, staring face to face with Zelia as she clutched at her chest where she had been shot. 

The look on the Sith’s face was unmatched by any other the lieutenant had ever seen, it was nothing but pure shock and betrayal as she weakly sunk to the floor. “M-Malavai- I… I thought… I-I… could trust you…” Zelia let the words escape weakly.

She hadn’t even tried to fight at that moment when Malavai turned around and announced what they were here for, quickly drawing his blaster at her and making his shot. As he gave his declaration about working under Darth Baras, his one true master, she felt her heart sink as her body filled with dread and pain from the blaster bolt that was now shot into her chest. All the time they’d spent together, the way they’d traveled between so many planets with one another, the memories and trust he had built up with her, the romantic bond that they seemed to form- did none of that matter to Malavai as it mattered to Zelia? These were the only thoughts that ran through her head as she looked down at her hands, shaky and covered in the blood that came from her chest. 

Malavai returned his blaster to his holster, regret plastered on his face as he forced himself to turn away from the Sith, the same Sith he had begun to love, was now dying at his hands. “I’m very sorry, my lord… but it’s what had to be done.”

It’s what had to be done.

These are the words that echoed through the room for a brief few moments of silence, the only thing being heard was Malavai taping away on his datapad, sending out his signals that his mission had been completed, and Zelia’s troubled breathing as she uttered her final whisper. “I trusted you… I… I loved… you…”

To these words Malavai turned just his head to see as all life disappeared from the Sith’s eyes, watching her slump over onto the floor as her heart went still. Zelia Andress, the apprentice of the Sith Darth Baras, had now died due to the higher Sith’s orders.

He placed his datapad back in its pouch as he approached Zelia, tears caught in his eyes as he felt like a marble was in his throat while he now stood above her, looking down at the Sith. “I loved you too, Zelia… I’m sorry…” he whispered. “Droids, clean this mess up… I have work to return to.” Malavai got the words out as he turned away, beginning to walk out of the room so he didn’t have to deal with looking at her any more than he already had to. 

Malavai had to return to Kaas at once. He had to report firsthand to Baras and give a brief of his mission. There was no time for his heart and his head to be at war as they were now, especially not over some girl. He had been living in the middle of a great war, there was no time for romance in his life, not when he was climbing ranks within the imperial military.

But still, even as he told himself this as he approached the ship that would be bringing him to Kaas, the choice he made felt wrong. His heart felt heavy and was telling him this wasn’t the right thing to do, and that I’d he truly loved Zelia he wouldn’t have gone through with this. Quinn’s flaws came from the fact that he was a loyal man, and he would continue to be loyal to the person who could get him further in his life, and that happened to be Baras in this case.

The lieutenant reached into his pocket as he was seated, taking out a note with a pressed flower from Alderaan in it that he always had on hand since the day Zelia thought it would be fun to slip a real-life note made of paper under the door of the bunk room addressed to him. He remembered how Vette had teased him for it, reminding him multiple times that they were hunting for Jaesa and there was no time for love letters in adventure… he had been annoyed and flustered at that moment, but if only he had gotten to tell the Sith how much it meant to him. If only he got to tell the Sith how much she meant to him. 

Malavai traced the letters of her writing as he scanned the page, soon running his gloved fingers over the flower native to the grand planet. “I’ll never forgive myself… not today, not tomorrow… and not ever. I was a fool, my lord. Just as you had always said about me… too loyal to the wrong people at the wrong times.” he murdered the words, shaking any thoughts from his head as he folded the note carefully and put it back in his chest pocket, where it would continue to reside.

He had to focus… there was no time to dwell over what had already happened. Zelia was dead, and he did it for the good of the empire- his empire. And at the end of the day, that was the reason Malavai used to justify his choices.

For the good of the empire.


End file.
